I have learned over the years that forgiveness lies in the will. We must look deep inside ourselves (not easy to do) and “want” to forgive. Its so easy to fall into the trap of self-rejection. Its a long process but its very important to learn to control our emotions and not have our emotions control us. The same with “feelings”, we cannot allow them to control us! Feelings are just that “feelings” and nothing more. There is peace in letting our minds descend into our hearts and stand there in forgiveness.
I am reminded of words written by Rainer Maria Rilke; “what is going on in your innermost being is worthy of your whole love”. True forgiveness will allow for this kind of love.